Klaatu Barada Nikto

The 2008 incarnation of the 1951 classic The Day The Earth Stood Still exemplifies artistic expression placed in the hands of number crunchers and promotional mad men. Quite lavish with special effects, the film falls flat when compared to the original version starring Michael Rennie as the benevolent but stern alien Klaatu, and Patricia Neal as Helen Benson. The 2008 version has been updated to keep the politically correct crowd happy as well as appealing to teenagers that gauge a movie by the number of explosions and the amount of terrestrial destruction. The special effects have a synthetic texture and movement like a video game which completely destroys reality and makes the movie feel more like a cartoon. The film is terribly miscast and lines are spoken with all the enthusiasm of artificial voice prompts on a cell phone. Keanu Reeves should retire immediately and shame on Kathy Bates for signing on to a project beneath her artistic abilities. Wait until this film comes out on video to see it (if you must). A comparison to the original is worth it but not for the price of theater admission.

Twins Separated At Birth

A genetic accident that only a monster could love. Spawned by electricity discharged from a wire coat hanger into a cocktail of sperm and toxic waste, these creations escaped from the laboratory and periodically show up on video and in nightmares.

Strength In Numbers

Here we have a couple of well fed girls that sprang to life as sturdy seedlings in the back woods of America. Let these bulls loose in a Fleetwood trailer with a bottle of Jack Daniels, deprive them of fried food, and you could film a tornado disaster movie without the tornado! While not the most well mannered individuals, these lovely ladies certainly know how to chop wood, rebuild a car engine, and repair an oil refinery with their bare hands. The hair says it all ... mess with me and I will kick your ass!

Kinda Horsey

Is it Halloween, drag show amateur night, or former Florida secretary of state Katherine Harris? Hard to tell but in reality it's the gal that many believe helped steal the 2000 election from the democratic party, the infamous Katherine Harris in her political heyday! Like the lowly cockroach, Katherine's face would most certainly survive an atomic attack. In 2004 a crazed motorist tried to run her down on the street, but just like a weed cut off at the base, Katherine has a strong root system and regenerates like a sliced salamander!

80's Mullet Mania

Here we have a real piece of work. Anyone that has fond memories of the 80's needs to take a good hard look at this follicular horror from the past. I am sure the negative social impact combined with back combing left the child in this photo with permanent brain damage. Daddy drives a red Camero and is obviously a big fan of Bon Jovi and Night Ranger.

Fairbanks-Morse H-10-44

I am now the proud owner of a Chicago and Northwestern Fairbanks-Morse H-10-44 switcher for use on any DC energized HO scale model railroad. The unit is fully equipped with cabin engineer and accurate sound including variable speed diesel engine, bell, squealing brakes, and horn. Wikipedia describes the specs and history of this venerable rail slave as follows:

"The FM H-10-44 was a yard switcher produced by Fairbanks-Morse from August, 1944–March, 1950. The units featured a 1,000-horsepower (750 kW), six-cylinder opposed piston engine prime mover, and were configured in a B-B wheel arrangement mounted atop a pair of two-axle AAR Type-A switcher trucks, with all axles powered. Many H-10-44s received aftermarket modifications that increased their horsepower rating to 1,200 hp (890 kW). The Raymond Loewy-designed car body featured a slanted nose, sloping hood lines, and (considered to be its most distinguishing feature) a protruding roof visor mounted on the rear of the cab. These styling cues were carried through to the H-10-44's successor, the FM H-12-44, until September 1952 when the exterior design was "spartanized" to reduce production costs. A total of 195 units were built for American railroads. Three intact examples of the H-10-44 are known to survive today, all of which are owned by railroad museums. Most notable of these is Milwaukee Road #760 (originally delivered as #1802), the first Fairbanks–Morse locomotive constructed in their own plant, which is preserved and on display at the Illinois Railway Museum."

This locomotive will allow for a light consist of freight or passenger cars on short haul applications such as train assembly, industrial switching, or commuter runs. Manufacturing dates are compatible with the period of choice should I decide to construct a Chicago based rail yard in the future and run steam equipment as well. Until such time this switcher will run on a rail club landscape proudly hauling post-war lumber, coal, chemicals, and fictitious passengers to help move a growing nation into the future!

The Porcelain Incident

My grandmother was a fireball of energy with a hot temper but more often than not she was careless. Before I was born she sat on a pair of scissors that fell between sofa cushions and was rushed to the hospital. Over the years she developed multiple interests including African violets, parakeets, French poodles, plaster of Paris art and ceramics. Whatever she did, it was full throttle at warp speed or not at all. In hast between hobbies and domestic chores she often times placed her glasses or false teeth in odd locations and could not find them later. In the early 1950's, she sneezed while flushing the toilet, which sent her teeth into the swirling water and down the sewer. For her the incident was terribly embarrassing and she did not discuss it except with family and her best friend Mrs. Coley. Little did my grandmother know that word spread through Mrs. Coley that Mattie was careless and lost her teeth by flushing them down the commode. The 1950's held people to unusual expectations where issues like alcohol consumption, divorce, teen pregnancy and breaking a window pane was cause for intense shame. Accidents of any kind were frowned upon and viewed as if the individual in question had poor judgement and lacked self control. There were no options or gray areas, you attended church, behaved yourself and went along with societal expectations or you were ostracized. My grandmother used a clever technique to evade the boredom of church by claiming that arthritis and wooden benches do not mix. Most people in the 1950's were more concerned with "what will people think"? than they were about being honest with themselves and living their lives as individuals. A few weeks after she lost her teeth the superintendent of the sewerage treatment plant arrived at my grandmother's house with a pair of false teeth in a water filled mason jar. Mr Badon was seriously trying to help when he proudly proclaimed: "I heard you lost your teeth down the toilet and we found these in collection grate at the sewage treatment plant. Would you like to try them on to see if they are yours"?

Needless to say my grandmother was not amused and did not take him up on the offer. It was shameful enough that she flushed her teeth down the toilet, but for everyone in town to know about it was devastating.